Perfect Match, it is not a true story, but was based on the facts of life.
Perfect Match is about family bonds, friendship, – very important values to me, love and the outcome of loving and trusting the wrong person.
Some would say that Mary and Robert relationship is a cliché and what had happened to her would never possible happened to a middle class and well educated woman like her.
Unfortunately, it can happen to anyone, regardless of their socioeconomic status. Manipulators can hide their true self from others very well, concealing their aggressive intentions and behaviors to make their victims believe that they are caring and sensitive.
The manipulators use praise and flattery or superficial charm and sympathy to gain trust, love. Once they know the victim emotional vulnerabilities, such as, naiveté, trust and emotional dependency they use it to persuade, to influence and control the victim’s behavior.
Robert made Mary feel valued and loved, fooling her posing as a romantic and a nice guy, which he was not, to gain her trust and love and to know her vulnerabilities and flaws.
Mary was naivé and trusting and somehow innocent and Robert used it well to drag her into a manipulative relationship. She didn’t notice it until it was too late.
Psychological manipulation can be subtle and misleading. It works below the level of conscious awareness and the victim doesn’t realize that her/his thoughts, action and desires are being manipulated into something that better suits the manipulator.
Emotional manipulators used diversion, they don’t give straight answers to a direct question, instead they dodge the topic and changed the subject.
Robert used diversion every time Mary wanted to know more about him, instead talking about himself, he diverted her attention talking about his love for her and showing how romantic he was.
Emotional manipulators play the victim role, especially if the victim is kind and sensitive.
They intimidate the victim using verbal abuse and subtle or implied threats. During discussions they raise their voices, or became more violent to show who is in command. This way the victim will avoid upsetting or confronting the manipulator, concentrating on the anger and not on the manipulation tactic.
Another technique is projecting the blame. Manipulators denied responsibility for their actions, so the victim looks like he or she has done something wrong.
One day while Robert, Mary, Phil and Emmy were studying together, Robert argued with Phil and instead of making amends, he blamed Mary for losing his temper, accusing her of flirting with Phil.
Why they do it?
They need to control people and situations no matter what they have to do to have it. They need to feel superior and powerful to feel safe and effective, to mask their insecurities because they are afraid of failure.
I’m positive that you will enjoy “Perfect Match”. And once you get to know Mary Walker better and what she went through, you will sympathize with her.
© Marcia Weber Martins